Who Needs Washington?

Not the state — the capital of the United States. To clarify, we're not even talking about doing away with the fact of having a capital. Every country needs to be administered, and it might as well be from a central location. And there's the rub. Washington, DC, is not a central location. And it's on a swamp. And it's not gotten any better in the last two centuries, considering the sort of thing we've come to expect wafting off the Hill. (Some hill. Most people don't realize until after they've shot past it in the tour bus that it really is a hill . . . sort of.)

Frankly, it's difficult to find somebody who actually likes living in Washington. (I said "difficult," not "impossible." A friend of mine loves it — but he's a lawyer and therefore of questionable sanity anyway.) Here is what I propose. First, move the capital to Denver, Colorado. If not there, to the geographic center of the country, purported to be somewhere around Lebanon, Kansas. (The marker is not where the real center is, because the owner of the farm where the actual center is, about a mile and a half away, didn't want people traipsing all over his land, ruining the crops.)

Anyway, once we've moved the capital Out West, getting away from the dead and dying culture of the Eastern Elite Establishment (otherwise known as "Eeeeeeeee!" from the sound normal people make when the EEE begins doing anything), we turn DC into an amusement park, Washingtonland, and charge admission.

Failing that, we could make some substantive changes, such as immediate adoption of the Capital Homestead Act. It might be easier, and certainly more profitable than moving the capital.

#30#