If you thought the economics of John Maynard Keynes was crazy, wait until you hear about the study of the production, distribution, and consumption of marketable goods and services in the Klingon Empire. What brought this up? We are looking into turning our recently re-released book, Economic Personalism (now with 100% more imprimatur!) into an audiobook. We’ve also been looking into using AI to translate the book into different languages to broaden the potential market.
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| Two Klingons |
At that point, someone wondered — asking for a friend, of course — what it would be like to produce an audiobook . . . in Klingon. After all, every nerd and science fiction fan in the world (except for those Battlestar Galactica and Star Wars deviants) would want it . . . wouldn’t they? And we found out there are, in fact, existing audiobooks in Klingon.
We tried a test. We put the following comments into the AI translator: “I spit on your dishonorable wage system job. I demand capital ownership.” This was translated into: “wa’leS QaHwI’pu’ tlhIH. belmoH Human.” Which — as, of course, you know — means “Tomorrow you will both actors. Humans pleased.”
Something seems to have been lost in translation. Perhaps the Romulans would be a better market . . .
That got us thinking, however. What would some fundamental concepts of binary economics sound like translated into Klingon? How about Louis O. Kelso’s definition of money? This is actually quite simple and straightforward, although politicians and academic economists might have a few issues with it:
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| One Kelso |
Money is not a part of the visible sector of the economy. People do not consume money. Money is not a physical factor of production, but rather a yardstick for measuring economic input, economic outtake and the relative values of the real goods and services of the economic world. Money provides a method of measuring obligations, rights, powers and privileges. It provides a means whereby certain individuals can accumulate claims against others, or against the economy as a whole, or against many economies. It is a system of symbols that many economists substitute for the visible sector and its productive enterprises, goods and services, thereby losing sight of the fact that a monetary system is a part only of the invisible sector of the economy, and that its adequacy can only be measured by its effect upon the visible sector. (Louis O. Kelso and Patricia Hetter, Two-Factor Theory: The Economics of Reality. New York: Random House, 1967, 54-55.)
Feeding this into the AI translator, here is what came out:
mISmo' Hoch 'Ip puS. 'ach 'oH mIwvam'e'. 'ej Qongbe'chugh, vIghajbe', Da 'e' lusovmoH. wo'vaD QuchchoHmoHlaHbe' qechmey nIt'e' Delbogh mu'mey Dotlh tlhoch qach reDmey tlham puS. 'ej, jIHvaD ngabchoHmoHmeH, jIvumtaHvIS. chenlaHbe' 'uSer, tamtaHvIS, Qochqu' be'. 'ej chIch ngoDvam HeghlaHbe' vay' ghopvam, tagha' tIqwIj SuvtaHvIS je jatlhlu'chugh, vaj pagh QIch. ghIq yabDaj 'ej mughIjqu' 'ej ghotvam.
And what does this mean in English?
Confusion is all sworn. But that's the way of doing it. If not, my lord, I know not. Several instruments struggled to contradict the words of a way of terrible inevitably. For I have kept me passing. The gentleman did not lobby form, And intentionally, if no speech cannot be said, if no speech is finally fighting for my heart. And subsequently, these fears are in her mind.
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| One Klingon |
We did that twice, just to make sure, and it came out the same way both times. We concluded that either Klingon is truly an alien language and there is no possible communication with those folks, or the whole Klingon language schtick is a scam and a huge inside joke played on science fiction fans.
Of course, Keynesian economics is sort of an alien language, too. Maybe we were being too judgmental or just logical (or Vulcan). What does translation into Klingon do for Keynesian economics . . . anything? According to AI, “John Maynard Keynes believed that aggregate demand is the primary driver of an economy. He famously said, ‘In the long run, we are all dead’ to emphasize that short-term effects are more important than long-term effects.” So, how does that come across in Klingon?
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| John Maynard Keynes |
tlhIngan Segh luja'meH QumwI' Tera'ngan. vIHbe'chugh, vaj poSvo' nIHwI' wIboQ, ponglIjDaq QongchoHlu'chugh, vaj poSDaq ngabchugh, vaj poSvo' nIHwI' wIleghchoH.
And that means?
They took the Klingon race to the Communicator to Terrans. If it was, my lord, if the king's name bed is opened, then we will see the thieves open.
Okay, let’s just forget Keynesian economics as well as Klingon translations. Just focus on the key concept of money, and you’ll get that from Kelso. From there you can work your way into the Economic Democracy Act and go where no man has gone before.
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