Monday, October 14, 2013

An Immodest Proposal — A Halloween Horror Special


There have been one or two comments about our (presumed) failure to post the annual series of “Halloween Horror Specials” on the blog this year.  While we hate to break tradition, do we really want more horror than we already have in the world today?  Still . . . tradition is tradition.  As the Irish say, “Neither make nor break a tradition.”  Consider this an attempt to keep the tradition alive.

That being said, of course, let us be perfectly clear.  What follows below is “satire.”  That means (at least in this case) that we’re saying one thing when we mean exactly the opposite.  Got that?  This warning is necessary because there are always some people who insist that you’re being serious when you are being most satiric.

Did you know, for example, that Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal,” that appeared to advocate cannibalism as the solution to poverty (the title of which we obviously ripped off for this posting) was taken as an actual proposal by a number of people?  ’Strewth.  And Thomas More’s Utopia, that allegedly presented socialism and naked international aggression for conquest as a model for a nation to follow, is still taken by many academics as More’s blueprint for an ideal society?  We kid you not.

So, you have been warned, although the warning does take something away from the effect that satire is supposed to have.

Everything after the period at the end of this sentence is satire.

Recently physicians in Belgium put a disabled patient to death in order to “harvest” her usable organs and body parts. (Okay, almost everything in this section is satire.  That was serious.  Let the satire begin.  Now.  Right after this period: . )  Worst emoticon ever.

Anyway, let’s look at the real issue here: quality.  How do even Belgian doctors expect to good replacement parts if they’re only taking the unborn, the immature, the disabled, the elderly — you know, the “useless eaters”?  Face it, folks.  These are not quality merchandise.

We need to start targeting those whose parts are in the best working order, but whose thinking or beliefs are not acceptable to the new order.  We don’t want their brains, after all, just their bodies.  And, as more and more people turn to such outdated ideologies as religion and democracy, there should be, to all intents and purposes, an endless supply of high quality replacement parts available for those who meet acceptable ideological criteria, especially as more and better healthcare for the politically correct increases demand.

Add in those who, while otherwise healthy, are not contributing economically to society or not working for the government, and a whole host of other problems are solved.  Anyone on welfare could be harvested after one year, thereby reducing the need to create jobs artificially (another form of welfare, actually), cutting welfare costs, and even making significant profits from the secondary market in quality parts.  It would also drive up wage levels naturally by reducing the number of workers competing for a decreasing number of jobs.

We should also not discount the profitable possibilities from exporting not jobs, but workers! Africa did this for centuries, and it made those engaged in the industry very wealthy. Round up the unemployed and the ideologically incorrect, and ship them to where they can be gainfully employed.  We understand cotton is still king in some countries, and human labor is still valuable there.

Or you could return power to the people through an aggressive program of expanded capital ownership, restructuring the system, especially those institutions relating to money and credit, so as to make it operate for the benefit of everyone, not just a select few, but who wants to do that?

#30#

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